Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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