why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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