My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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