my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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