I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
