She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
