happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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