This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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