I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
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