As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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