drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
