There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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