whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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