Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize