Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
