i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it because I queefed?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
