I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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