Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
No subtext here. People are naked.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
