2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
