Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
