you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
