he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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