I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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