Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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