So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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