the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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