I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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