there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
