i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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