Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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