I can't watch pbs sober anymore
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
