You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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