So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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