Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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