I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
