I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize