dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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