She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
