this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
