I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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