Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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