I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's never too late to be topless.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
