some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
