everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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