There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sorry my hands just texted you
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
