I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
