we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
