I'm drive I can fine osifer
he shaved USA in his pubs
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
