I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
