Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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