she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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