i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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