I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
