My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Please don't give away my fajitas
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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