You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
