remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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