dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
