I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize