You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize