it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.